Striking Stars and Shattered Sparks
by DarkerStars
Summary: [TFP] Optimus Prime is one of the Mechs best known for keeping a tight reign on his emotions. But even he has experienced spark shattering loss so extreme it leaves him with waking nightmares. The ones that haunt him most?: The death of his Conjunx, Elita 1, and their daughter. But what Optimus doesn't know is that his daughter isn't as lost forever as he'd originally thought.


**Credit for this idea goes to 5carletteRose, who helped think up the plot of this story. Go give her a follow and check out her work! 💜)**

**(The cover art is not mine and belongs to MNS-Prime-21 on Deviantart portraying their character. I used it because it somewhat resembles Starstriker and matches the theme of the story.)**

**(Starstriker is my TFsona, who 5carletteRose also helped me design X3 and this turned out a lot better - and longer - than I thought it would so that's good, and I hope you enjoy!)**

**(Also tried to do that thing when people include relevant song lyrics into their work and it came out meh but oh well XD)**

**(CUE THE DADDY DAUGHTER SADNESS!)**

**Song: Pretend It's OK by Little Mix**

* * *

**_"What would you do? What would you say?_**

**_How does it feel? Pretend it's OK_**

**_My eyes deceive me, but it's still the same_**

**_Pretend it's OK."_**

When Megatron first saw who Starscream was forcefully making to kneel before the Warlord himself, he was a mix of shocked, surprised and bewildered.

_He remembered the young Femme before him back when she was a mere Sparkling. He remembered her bright aquamarine optics staring up at him with nervousness as she cuddled further into her mother, Elita-1's arms upon their first introduction. And he remembered how then her father, Orion Pax has reassured her before he trustingly let Megatronus hold her._

_He'd spent many days with the Sparkling, mainly when her father would bring his and his Conjunx's daughter to he and Megatronus' meetings back in the days before their friendship turned to hatred. He was almost like an uncle to the little one._

Suddenly, Megatron felt a sense of uneasiness.

Why, of all the prisoners that the newly arrived Decepticon troopers could have apprehended on the way to Earth.

Why did it have to be Starstriker?

"How shall we proceed with the prisoner, Lord Megatron?" Starscream asked with obvious eagerness, pulling his master from his memories. His crimson red optics, usually full of surety and malice for once displayed sadness and unsurity. His gaze flickered to Starstriker, who was still being held in a painful looking kneeling position by Starscream. Her sky blue paint was scratched in places, her gold sections dulled and if any of her Energon had been spilled by his careless troopers it wouldn't show up against her teal tints.

The way she was looking at him made Megatron's spark almost crack. Her weary optics were locked on him not with happiness like they used to. They were full of fear and dread, she fearing the worst. She didn't speak - though she couldn't as the troopers had apparently found it appropriate to gag her along with cuffing her.

"I suggest we start with a round of interrogation. See what secrets the little wretch might be hiding." Starscream suggested with a malicious smirk directed at Starstriker, who's optics shrank noticeably in dread at the suggestion. "With use of some shock and beatings of course-"

"No." Megatron cut him off simply.

Starscream stuttered and looked quite puzzled. Normally his master didn't have a problem with him making their prisoners 'uncomfortable'. "... No, Master?"

"The prisoner will be confined to a cell. That is all." Megatron commanded, keeping his gaze on the still fearful Starstriker as he spoke.

"But, but Master!-" Starscream tried to protest with a frown.

"That. Is. All." Megatron spoke with a darker tone now to Starscream in order to make himself clear. Starstriker didn't look any less terrified though, her optics shifting between both Mechs.

Starscream sighed in defeat, rolling his optics." Yes, Lord Megatron." Snapping his talons, two vehicons walked over and picked up Starstriker, pulling her away by her arms to the cells. She shifted and struggled, whimpers making their way through the gag in an attempt to plead against her confinement.

As she was dragged away Megatron watched, he almost frozen as he took in the fact that Optimus and Elita's daughter was not only alive but in his custody. And despite her father and their feud Megatron couldn't bring himself to even consider inflicting harm on the Femme. She was just out of adolescence and despite her parents being two of the most prominent Autobots ever to live, she was innocent in his eyes. No, he wouldn't harm her.

But that didn't mean he couldn't use her to his advantage.

* * *

**_"I remember the day when we were out all night_**

**_I wish that I can get the day back and tell you it's alright_**

**_Cause we all do the same thing, we just don't realize_**

**_That we're living on borrowed time."_**

_Optimus rarely slept well. The leader had seen so much horror and experienced unimaginable loss that he couldn't even find comfort in his sleep._

_Images of Cybertron in it's current dead state was a common theme of his nightmares. Dark planes stained with the spilled Energon of the dead, lifeless husks of the fallen warriors lining the area, and their expressions always looked like they were screaming._

_There was one terror that plagued the Prime that affected him even more though._

_Because it was more than a nightmare, but a memory._

_The images of the Decepticons holding hostage the group of Autobots they'd rounded up, his friends and among them his wife, Elita, forced to their knees with blasters pointed at their helms._

_It was all his fault. He'd sent them in there, but what he didn't know is that Megatron had already taken that sector._

_Optimus found himself running as fast as he could, only to arrive to the sight of the Seekers executing the Autobots they had prisoner. He saw Elita's lifeless body hit the ground, and as it did his spark shattered simultaneously._

_It was one of two times Optimus recalled having ever cried._

_The second, the night he thought he'd lost Starstriker too._

_After Elita's death Optimus could barely look at his daughter without his broken spark cracking even more with guilt. Starstriker's appearance seemed to be composed more of Optimus', particularly based on her ear fins and helm but she had aspects of Elita too and that was why he found it increasingly difficult to be around her._

_Mere months after Elita died, a grieving Optimus sent Starstriker away to an Autobot base in Iacon City, that was situated inside the old Hall of Records where he had once worked back when he was Orion Pax. He knew that his former mentor Alpha Trion was being heavily guarded there and so he knew that she would be safe there. At least he had thought._

_The night he heard that the Hall of Records had been taken, he'd arrived there to find it in flames. There were bodies everywhere, gunned down in Decepticon fashion. Optimus searched desperately, praying to Primus for her to be alright but he never found any trace of Starstriker. No body or remains. Nothing._

_She was gone and to Optimus it was all his fault._

_He'd already lost his wife because of his actions, and now he'd caused the loss of their daughter._

_Ratchet was the first one to find him, his leader on his knees in a broken and inconsolable state amongst the smoke and dead._

_"Starstriker..."_

_"I'm sorry.."_

**_"I see the light that I'm chasing_**

**_A memory, but it's fading_**

**_When it's gone I'll be waiting_**

**_Knowing it's too late_**

**_Knowing it's too late!"_**

Optimus jolted awake after that part like he always did, not even his sleeping subconscious able to handle the repeating spark break. It always took him a while to come out of the numb broken state those night terrors left him in.

Ratchet came in to wake him for the morning like he always did when he happened to be up first, and when he saw Optimus like that he knew it was best to let him calm down at his own pace. But this time it was different.

"Optimus." Ratchet began delicately and sonemly. "Megatron has patched himself through via the monitors. He will only speak with you."

Optimus was hardly in the right frame of mind to be conversing with his rival. But if Megatron had Soundwave go to the trouble of hacking their video comm systems then it was obviously something important.

Nodding stiffly, the Prime rose from his berth and headed out of his room, trying to shake off those still lingering screams in the back of his mind.

Arcee, Bulkhead and Bumblebee were already in the main hanger, all looking confused but on guard as they watched Megatron's expectant face on the large computer monitor. As Optimus saw them he quickly shook off his vacant and weary demeanour and opted for a stern one instead, not wanting his comrades to see him in a fragile state.

Optimus had a lot of practice at this. He had to pretend he was okay even when he wasn't.

Giving them a reassuring look, Optimus stood before the computer.

"Megatron. What is so urgent you went to such lengths to contact me?" Optimus queried, looking up at the Mech that was once his old friend with his stern expression.

"Optimus." Megatron greeted in his usual manner, a slight smirk letting his fangs show through. The way he spoke was confident, he obviously had intention and he evidently thought he would come out triumphant.

"I recently acquired someone of great interest to you." Megatron told him teasingly, causing Optimus' to waver slightly as he frowned. All his Autobots were correct and present. Had another come to Earth perhaps?

That was when Megatron patched through a security feed from the Nemesis' cells, showing Starstriker now unrestrained and curled up in the corner with her helm resting atop her knees.

The moment Optimus lay optics on his daughter who for the last three years he had thought to be dead, his spark felt like it was failing from all the jumps it made, and he physically stumbled as his expression dropped. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. She was alive. An adult now. Alive...

How could she be alive and he not know?!

Ratchet had known Optimus for a very long time, even back when he was Orion and therefore had encountered the Sparkling Starstriker on occasion. The medic frowned at the sight of the young Femme in familiarity before his optics widened with reliazation.

"Optimus... Is that?.. " Ratchet carefully stopped himself using her name as he could see his old friend's fragile state.

Optimus couldn't bring himself to utter her name either. He made attempts to speak but his mouth opened and closed with a tremble like his voice box was suddenly failing him.

Arcee, Bulkhead and Bumblebee were a mix of confused about Optimus' reaction to the mysterious Femme but they were also concerned. Never had they ever seen their leader so thrown off. So speechless. This didn't exactly reassure them.

Megatron was watching all of the Autobots' reactions, mainly Optimus', and it seemed to bring the Warlord great pleasure to see his rival so distraught. He took the security feed off the screen, revealing just him again. Once the image faded Optimus seemed desperate to see it again.

"She will not be harmed." He stated simply, and for once it was the truth. Megatron didn't have any interest in harming the Femme that he'd cared for so much in her youth. But then he smirked darkly.

"But if you want her, Optimus. You will have to come and collect her."

* * *

**_"You chose the road that I'm walking_**

**_Now it's your soul that I'm caught in_**

**_And you're not hearing when I'm calling_**

**_Calling your name!"_**

**_"One breath, one step, one life, one heart_**

**_Two words, two eyes, new beginning, new start."_**

_Starstriker often wondered what had become of her father._

_With all the chaos and loss the war had brought, all that destruction, it was hard to know anything for sure. Ever since the death of her mother it was like everything spiraled downwards from there._

_The young Femme remembered the night she found out all too well. While Optimus was doing his duty as the Autobot leader, the then equivalent of a human fifteen year old Starstriker was left in the care of her father's best guards, never to be unattended. He never spoke about the details of what he and Elita did, and Starstriker was afraid to ask. They were never the same though, she'd noticed. Before the fighting, back when Megatronus used to come and spend time with them all. They were happier then._

_The night of Elita's death Optimus came home late and once Starstriker saw him walk into the room alone she immediately knew something was wrong. No matter what time neither Optimus or Elita would return home without the other - neither could without knowing the other was safe._

_Starstriker knew that something was wrong._

_"Dad... Where's mum?" She eventually plucked up the courage to ask, all the while her spark trembling in dread._

_Her father's faceplate was the picture of guilt, mourning and sorrow. And for the first time ever Starstriker saw he had been crying, seeing the dried Energon streaks down his face._

_He was agonisingly silent and that combined with everything else gave her the answer she was dreading._

_She ran to him and stiffly hugged him, her smaller height meaning she had her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chassis. No tears came, no cries. Unsure if it was shock, she just hugged her father tightly as a nauseating sense of numbness consumed her._

_Optimus stiffly wrapped his arms around her in return, one servo moving to rub her back gently. But he wasn't as affectionate as he used to be._

_After that Starstriker felt that Optimus was purposely distancing himself from her. He rarely returned to whatever base they'd be staying at at the time. He didn't send for her like he and Elita would when they'd have spare time to spend with her. When she managed to find him his interaction was brief and without warmth._

_She often wondered if it was because of her. That she'd done something wrong to disappoint him. The young Femme didn't know that it was truly down to the crushing guilt Optimus was constantly feeling._

_Starstriker felt very alone._

_And when Optimus sent her away to Iacon to stay with Alpha Trion she felt even worse. He didn't want her? She couldn't help but feel it was because of something she'd done._

_She feared that her time in Iacon would leave her even more isolated than she already felt._

_But Starstriker was wrong. Because while staying under Alpha Trion's care she met his personal guard, a young Mech named Smokescreen._

_Smokescreen was confident, quick thinking, energetic, occasionally clumsy and he had this demeanour that cheered Starstriker up no matter how lonely or sad she happened to be feeling. He was young like her and although he couldn't give her any otherworldly wise advice like her father used to, Smokescreen would still sit and listen patiently long enough for her to rant or occasionally pour her spark out. Then afterward he'd make her feel better by sneaking them into the archives and they'd watch amusing old videos stored there while gorging their Energon rations like they were humans on a movie night._

_After a while of knowing each other and getting closer, they'd cuddle doing so._

_He was protective of her and never failed to cheer her up even if he wasn't trying to._

_He'd also freaked out when he found out her father was his idol Optimus Prime. She remembered how he'd rambled breathlessly in excitement so much she was concerned he would pass out. Though she ended up admitting how he'd become distant recently. And he always insisted it could never be her fault._

_Starstriker didn't know how she'd have coped in Iacon without Smokescreen by her side. He kept her strong._

_And so when the Hall of Records was raided and seized by the Decepticons, and Starstriker scrambled through the inferno searching for Smokescreen, when she couldn't find him she was distraught._

_Next thing she knew the Decepticons had taken her prisoner. The fire had left her paint job scorched and covered in dust, leaving it a charcoal grey that meant when she was caught the troopers didn't reliase who she was._

_And tragically neither did Smokescreen, who happened to have been on the same Prisoner Transport Ship as her. He'd ran right past the knocked out, discoloured Femme and straight into a escape pod, setting himself free._

_Starstriker's escape hadn't been so direct. Once aware she managed to make an escape similar to Smokescreen but her pod, unlike his, didn't take her to Earth. But rather in statis for almost two years to a planet where other Autobot refugees were hiding out from the war. There she managed to get herself fixed up, got a fresh coat of paint, acquired a rather striking black sword that had pink and blue neon highlights, trained herself to get her combat skills up and for a time she hoped that she might come across someone familiar there. And occasionally she wondered if her father had escaped Cybertron. If he was still online. Smokescreen too._

_But the peace didn't last for long. Decepticon troopers Megatron was summoning to Earth unfortunately made a pit stop on the refugee's planet. Starstriker was recognised by them as she fought them in an attempt to protect the other Autobots while they escaped._

_And so Starstriker became the prisoner of one who she once thought of as family, but so did her parents._

**_"Too neat, too narrow, too short, too bright,_**

**_I'm there with you, here by my side."_**

Now, after as she sat in her cell aboard the Nemisis, the young Femme thought about all of this. Rubbing her tender wrists from where the cuffs had been too tight, her optics flickered around what she could see, which wasn't very much from her dim space. They'd confiscated her sword, so she couldn't use that as means of escape. She decided her best bet would be to try to physically fight her way out when someone would inevitably open the cell door.

She had no idea that the camera in the corner was streaming her image to her father who she didn't know was alive. And on the same planet for that matter.

Time passed. Not much seemed to happen. Nobody came near her cell and all seemed strangely quiet apart from the occasional futile plea from one of her fellow prisoners. Starstriker kept herself alert as best as she could. Sitting still and listening intently for anyone coming her way. Once that door was open it was her chance to escape.

Suddenly she heard gunfire in the distance, and the moment it hit her audio receptors she sprung to her feet, skidding to the cell door and pressing her faceplate against the gap between the bars to try to see what was happening. Blaster light flashes reflected against the metal of the corridor around the corner and so she knew that the conflict was coming her way. The trouble was she didn't know if they were friendly or not.

Clamping of peds came fast, and Starstriker decided hanging back would be a smart idea. So she quickly backed away and pressed her back against the far wall.

Trying to stay quiet as she saw shadows of what looked like Mechs based on their heights, clangs rang out as the unknown figures started opening the other cells. Their blasters were visible by their glows and suddenly Starstriker wasn't feeling so optimistic. She heard them coming closer, and she covered her mouth after an audible nervous whimper escaped her.

The nearest figure froze. And Starstriker's spark fluttered in panic.

Her cell door quickly burst open and two blinding lights - presumably headlights purged the darkness of the cell and exposed Starstriker in the corner like a deer in headlights. Scared and unable to see, she slipped down the wall into a defensive position on the ground, squinting against the bright light and trying to make out the figure.

The Mech hesitated to move. Just staring at her. Starstriker noticed this and frowned, shuffling with nervousness. Why wasn't he attacking? He wasn't doing anything. Who was this?

The lights suddenly switched off, leaving Starstriker's sight horribly unadjusted to the now pitch black room. Attempting to blink the light spots from her optics caused by the lights, she didn't notice the Mech move to her and kneel, and next thing she knew she was being clutched tightly against his chassis.

Letting out a scream in shock of the sudden contact the Femme let out a startled and unsure shriek, followed by her sharply pulling away.

"Starstriker." A deep, comforting voice whispered carefully that made her freeze up in even more shock. She knew that voice. She had since her first days and she'd never forget it.

Her gaze travelled upwards to meet the glowing blue one that was illuminating the dark now. Now she could see his face. And for the first time in years he was smiling.

"Dad?"

* * *

**_"Nothing here, no one talking, nothing's gonna change_**

**_But sometimes it can get so hard pretending it's OK."_**

Optimus sat in silence beside his berth, watching over Starstriker as she took some much needed rest on Ratchet's advice. His first priority after discovering her in that cell had been to get her safely to the Autobot base and out of harm's way. And although he probably hadn't needed to as Starstriker had seemed perfectly capable of walking, Optimus had carried her in one arm while using his free one to shoot a clear path to the Groundbridge. He wasn't taking any chances with her. Not anymore.

He hadn't even waited until Megatron had proposed some kind of exchange for her before he'd tracked the video comm signal, locked onto the Decepticon Warship, and been the first one through the Groundbridge

She'd grown so much, he thought to himself. Though it had only been a few years, to him those years seemed like a guilt filled eternity. His daughter was a beautiful young lady now, and she looked just like Elita. That fact made his spark hurt but for the time he was trying to ignore it and focus on his girl.

Ratchet had been worriedly asked by Optimus to check Starstriker over and after a brief diagnostic he promised his leader that she was completely fine, though rest wouldn't be a bad thing.

That didn't stop him watching over her as she rested silently on his berth. His mind travelled back to when Starstriker was a Sparkling, and he then as Orion had a paranoia that many parents suffer from: He was afraid to leave her at night. He'd sit beside her crib and just stare at her tiny form unsurely. What if she just... stopped? He would worry constantly. Or what if something happened if he left her. That worry lead Orion to spend many of Starstriker's first nights with her, half asleep with her cradled against his chassis.

Optimus felt like that now. That if he left her something terrible would happen. That what if he slipped out, just for a moment and when he returned she would be lost to him again. No. He couldn't lose her again. Now she was within reach and he could, he _had _to protect her. Above all else.

Absentmindedly as he pondered deeply in thought, Optimus barely noticed as he reached out and gently stroked from the top of her helm, running down the back ever so gently. She used to like that when she was a child, he recalled. He smiled as he remembered, for once without feeling emotional pain. She was always so happy, so creative and sweet. He was always so, so proud to call her his.

Optimus didn't know how long he spent pondering because soon he felt Starstriker wake up under his touch and when he came back from his memory daze she was sat up, frowning at him softly with concern.

"Are you okay, dad?" She asked him with concern, seeing he looked somewhat out of it when she'd awoken. She paused immediately after saying it, the word _"Dad"_ seemingly foreign to her after so long.

Optimus looked somewhat embarrassed at his state and he quickly nodded. The last thing he wanted was for her to worry about him. Worrying was his function as both a father and a leader.

"I am fine." He promised her softly, giving her the softest of smiles that in the present he'd never show to anyone else except Ratchet.

And that smile made Starstriker smile back up at him in response. And she felt a soft joy within her spark. She'd missed his smile.

After that an awkward silence consumed the room, neither of them knowing what to say. She played with her servos awkwardly while he straightened up equally as awkwardly, he knowing he should say something. Anything.

"I'm sorry dad." Starstriker suddenly came out with quietly, her gaze avoiding his as she seemed regretful. Optimus frowned deeply at that in confusion.

"What could you be sorry for?" He queried softly.

"For what it was I did.. That made you send me away." Starstriker murmured softly and kept her head hung. Her expression and demeanour was regretful and it was obvious that she truly believed she was at fault. "Did I upset you or something?"

Optimus took a moment to take that in, looking at her with a somewhat puzzled expression. He tilted his head slightly. "... Why would you think you'd done something wrong, Starstriker?"

"Because... After mum died you... " She trailed off and bit her lip, Optimus quickly noticing her optics become glassy with the promise of tears. She didn't need to finish because he worked it out for himself and the reliazation hit him like a kick to the gut about what she was referring to.

He immediately reached for her servos, clasping then gently in his larger ones.

"Starstriker... None of that was your fault." Optimus told her slowly.

Looking up at him with tears lining her optics, the young Femme looked equally as puzzled as he had moments ago. "Then why did you avoid me? I must have done something." She insisted, a tear finding its way down her cheek.

Optimus felt a familiar sense of guilt creep its way back into his shattered spark, that one tear making it even worse for him. Moving one of hie servos he carefully cupped her cheek in his palm, his thumb carefully wiping that tear from her face with one delicate stroke.

"When your mother passed..." He began softly, tilting her face up to look him in the optics. His gaze was reassuring but you could see the underlying pain and sadness he was trying to repress.

"Her death was my fault, and I couldn't handle the guilt." He admitted aloud for the first time, the words threatening to choke him before they'd pass his lips. "And every time I looked at you, I saw her. And I couldn't bear it. I stayed away from you. I was the weak one. I was at fault, not you."

Starstriker took in his confession and immediately she shook her helm confidently. "Mum dying wasn't your fault. It was the Decepticons'." She tried to reassure him, squeezing the servo that was still holding hers gently.

Optimus however didn't seem convinced.

"Starstriker-"

The Mech was cut off when Starstriker hugged him, she snuggling into his chest and tucking her helm under his chin as she wrapped her arms around his large frame the best she could.

"It wasn't your fault." She repeated to him, her gaze looking up at him pleading for him to believe it. "It wasn't. Please, if you want me to believe I didn't do anything wrong, you have to believe it too."

Optimus never liked to disagree with Starstriker. Even if he was right he'd feel guilty telling her that she was wrong. He'd always encouraged her to speak her mind and fight when she believed in something truthful. And so he would trust her.

"You remember what I taught you." He smiled softly, and finally returned the hug. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her securely and tucking her in a protective manner into his embrace.

"How could I forget? I was taught by the best." Starstriker mused playfully and she felt a small sense of victory when his frame vibrated with a quiet chuckle. Though her content expression wavered when she had a thought.

"Are you going to keep me here with you? Or send me to a different base-"

"You are staying right here." He promised her immediately, prompting her to look up at him sharply with shining, hopeful optics.

"I am?"

Optimus nodded softly, his reserved smile staying put just like he promised she would. He kept her close to him with the intention of never letting her away from him ever again.

Starstriker's spark leapt in delight and she snuggled further into his embrace, her optics closing with a happy sigh. Optimus was pretty warm and just that contact was calming and suddenly, she felt like the safest and most loved girl in the world.

And Optimus for the first time in many years, since Elita died, he had found some comfort and solace. Now he had someone to truly live for and love.

For so long both father and daughter had carried the burdens of their shattered sparks, and the guilt, loneliness and longing that accompanied.

Time, war and grief had pulled them apart and prevented those sparks from healing, but now they were together again, and as Optimus Prime and Starstriker embraced each other with more love than ever before, their shattered sparks were already healing.

And it turned out Megatron, in his efforts to destroy Optimus and everything he ever held dear through his war, had unintentionally returned the thing that would make Optimus stronger than ever.

Because not even an army or even Unicron himself would ever separate them now.

**_"What would you do? What would you say?_**

**_Pretending it's OK_**

**_What would you do? What would you say?"_**


End file.
